anxious avoidant relationship

A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of an Anxious Avoidant Relationship

People working on healing avoidant attachment often have trouble maintaining close and intimate with people, and lean more on the side of being love avoidant.

Usually resulting in attracting people who are anxious, clingy, and needy.

Unfortunately, this pattern can become a vicious cycle. 

Which might also cause further attachment problems, as well as a breakdown in communication and intimacy in relationships. 

In this blog post, we’re going to cover the differences between secure, anxious, and avoidant attachment styles, along with tips on healing avoidant attachment, as well as how to build and sustain healthy and secure connections. 

This is the ultimate guide to healing avoidant attachment and breaking the cycle of being in anxious avoidant relationships.

Along with that – we’ll also share a bit more about the power of microdosing mushrooms to bring more awareness to any attachment issues you might be experiencing and how our PMA might provide you with the tools and resources to support you in your healing journey.

First Off… What Are The Different Types Of Attachment Styles?

There is much misunderstanding regarding the many types of attachment styles, what they are, and why they are important in relationships. 

The term “attachment styles” describes how people establish and uphold emotional bonds with others. 

There are three main types of attachment styles:

  • secure, 
  • avoidant, 
  • and anxious.

Each type of attachment has its own dynamics and impacts each relationship differently. 

Keep reading to learn more about the different types of attachment…

Secure attachment:

Individuals with a secure attachment type can have a high degree of interpersonal trust and comfort. They are able to express their emotions and feel secure in their interactions. They usually grew up in a safe and secure environment, which allowed them to have trust in others and confidence in themselves, or they have done the work to be able to live a secure relationship with a beloved.

Anxious attachment: 

Individuals with anxious attachment often seek intimacy and may come to depend unhealthily on their partners. They could struggle with trust and feel uneasy in close relationships, usually exhibiting greater emotional reactivity and having difficulty controlling their emotions. Luckily, there are ways to heal anxious attachment.

Avoidant attachment: 

People who have the avoidant attachment style tend to separate themselves from others emotionally and may find it challenging to build strong bonds. They may have a hard time being open and trusting and have a great need for independence.

And there are also a few less common subtypes called: 

Dismissive avoidant attachment style:

Extreme self-sufficiency is the characteristic feature of dismissive-avoidant attachment. Dismissive-avoidant attachment style individuals do not want to depend on others and do not want others to rely on them. They place a high value on their freedom since they feel they work best on their own.

Disorganized fearful avoidant attachment style:

A person who exhibits a pattern of behavior known as fearful-avoidant attachment seeks connection but is also afraid of getting too close to someone, expressing both high anxiety and high avoidance. It’s the least common of the four attachment forms and is also known as disorganized attachment.

The Roots of Avoidant Attachment

Avoidant attachment often develops in childhood or adolescence when a person begins to feel insecure about their connections with others. 

They may see relationships as dangerous and uncontrollable, which can lead them to avoid intimacy altogether. 

This leaves them feeling isolated and alone, which can further contribute to their anxiety and fears around love.

This style of attachment generally results in an individual feeling ambivalent towards emotional closeness with others. 

They become love avoidant.

Avoidant attachment is the inclination to remove oneself from others and avoid closeness emotionally.

People who have an avoidant attachment style may struggle to be vulnerable, and they may regularly repress their emotions.

By developing a more secure attachment style with knowledge and understanding, people with avoidant attachment can enhance their relationships.

By getting the right help, they can get closer to other people and learn to trust them.

The Difference Between Anxious And Avoidant Attachment

If you have an anxious or avoidant attachment style, it can be difficult to form healthy relationships.

In most cases, opposites attract and anxious attachment beings attract those with avoidant attachment, and vice versa. 

But often – whether they are aware of it or not – they come together to heal. 

Anxious attachment is the most common type of attachment style, and it’s characterized by fearfulness and anxiety.

People with anxious attachments tend to be insecure and rely on others for security.

Avoidant attachment is a rarer type of attachment style, and it’s characterized by a lack of interest in interpersonal interactions.

People with avoidant attachment tend to be emotionally distant from others and have little concern for their own safety or well-being. 

Understanding the Dynamics of an Anxious Avoidant Relationship

An anxious avoidant relationship can have a detrimental effect on the quality and longevity of the relationship, due to the fact that one partner may have a fear of giving love, and the other partner may have a fear of receiving love.

This can lead to a dynamic of pushing and pulling between partners – where both parties end up facing codependency.

Often this creates further distress in the relationship that can result in behaviors such as:

  • avoiding closeness and intimacy, 
  • withholding communication, 
  • and acting passive-aggressively.

This type of relationship may seem appealing from the outside, as the couple may put up a picture-perfect facade, but behind the scenes, it’s usually far from ideal. 

In such cases, both partners usually cannot confront their fears and insecurities, leading to a lack of communication and resentment in the relationship.

As a result, both partners may feel a sense of helplessness and despair due to the perpetual pattern of fear and mistrust they are stuck in.

This can take an emotional toll on both partners and cause stress.

However, the good news is that an anxious avoidant relationship can be saved and move into deeper more profound love than ever before.

Why Healing An Anxious Avoidant Relationship is Important

Anxious avoidant relationships usually look like this…

  • one partner who is overly clingy and tries to overcompensate for their lack of self-esteem, 
  • and the other partner, who feels the need to withdraw from the relationship due to fear of rejection constantly.

This can create a cycle of insecurity, doubt, and fear that can leave both partners emotionally drained and feeling helpless.

In this type of relationship, one or both partners usually suffer from anxiety and negative feelings that drive them further away from each other.

This can create a cycle of tension and distance that’s hard to break. 

But healing an anxious avoidant relationship is possible with the proper tools to work through the challenges and with a willingness to let go of attachment.

healing avoidant attachment

Tools For Healing Avoidant Attachment

If you are struggling in an anxious avoidant relationship there is hope.

Here are some methods for overcoming your avoidant attachment:

  • Through therapy, you can better comprehend the underlying causes of your avoidant attachment and create plans for enhancing your relationships by working with a therapist specializing in attachment theory.
  • You can become more aware of patterns in your relationships and learn to manage your emotions by practicing mindfulness and focusing on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. So much can shift through awareness alone.
  • Use techniques for managing your emotions, like deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, dance, and visualization, to help you handle challenging emotions and prevent emotional shutting down.
  • For people with avoidant attachment, developing trust and closeness with others can be difficult, yet doing so is crucial for healing. This can involve practicing authentic communication, being truthful, and showing vulnerability around other people.
  • Ask for support from friends and family, or join a community of like-minded souls who can be there for you.
  • Embark on a microdosing psilocybin journey to understand the root cause of your avoidant attachment traits (or why you keep on attracting people with avoidant attachment traits).

What is Microdosing and How Can it Help

What is microdosing?

Microdosing is the micro dose intake of psychedelic mushrooms.

When we refer to psychedelic mushrooms, we refer to the kind of edible mushrooms that contain psilocybin – which is a compound that causes hallucinogenic effects.

However, when taken in a microdose (0,2 to 0,5mg), the mushroom’s hallucinogenic reactions do not occur, and the effects are very light but definitely transform on the long term, when taken regularly.

How can it help?

Psilocybin microdosing can help deal with avoidant attachment issues as it stimulates a part of the brain that rewires our conditionings, traumas and gives answers to the whys – understanding more of the root cause, therefore understanding where the work needs to be done.

Listen to this podcast to dig deeper into the scientific way psilocybin works with our brain.

It’s important to remember that healing avoidant attachment takes time and patience to unlearn.

It’s not something that can be healed overnight. But with the right tools, support, relationships, and resources, it is possible to develop healthier and more secure connections.

healing avoidant attachment

How Being Surrounded by a Like-Minded Community Can Support You 

If you’re in an anxious avoidant relationship, it can be hard to open up and share your story with others. 

But with the right tools, such as education, proper guidance, and an aligned utilization of sacred medicines – you can truly use the power of your heart, mind, body, and psyche to support you in the awareness of understanding your wounds and patterns – and learn to come to terms with, and heal it.

By joining our PMA – you will receive just that…

Access to individuals who can support you in understanding the power of microdosing (a healthy and small amount of medicine) to journey with yourself and heal any inner wounds.

Along with the tools, resources, and information you need to thrive on your journey in healing avoidant attachment – and finally experiencing healthy and harmonious relationships. 

The best part is – membership is completely free

So join now – we’re waiting and ready for you with open arms.

It’s Time To Break The Cycle

It might be difficult and frightening to break the cycle of being in an anxious avoidant relationship, but it is possible.

It is our deepest prayer that the information, tools, and strategies in this blog support you to have more fulfilling relationships. 

We sincerely hope that the information has given you the understanding you require to work through and resolve any insecure attachment you might be experiencing. 

You can bring harmony and peace back into your relationships and life, and if you need support we are here. 

We hope to have you join our membership – and be genuinely supported on your journey.

*None of the information shared on this website is shared as medical, legal, or professional advice. If you have any concern, consult your licensed physician.

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