Brian, I will be praying for you and am praying for you right now. I pray you will find hope. I pray this trying time will one day be a tool you can use to help others with depression. There is hope. A new time will come. A new sunrise will show itsself. Do not give up. Keep seeking help and answers and read read read. Somehow somewhere an answer will come. Praying for you. There is a wonderful beautiful reason you are here. You are worthy.